"Sexuality & Sensuality"

 

    Throughout history, and in different cultures around the world, women have been assigned various roles-sometimes as initiators or love goddesses, at other times as tools of the devil or as playthings of man. Somehow we are consigned to extremes either of beauty and purity or of sin and shame.

    In the tantric tradition, women are admired for their power to initiate others, while the yoni is honored as a healing place and residence of the goddess. Each woman is seen as the embodiment of sensuality, as transmitting sexual strength and creativity. This praise of the female goddess and her arts of love is described in Indian works such as the Kama Sutra and the Ananga Ranga, which elevate sexual passion to a spiritual level.

    The tantric tradition seeks to connect the worldly and the spiritual. In this context, the union between woman and man is a ritual act of central importance. It is an embodiment of the union of Shiva, the male godly principle, with Shakti, the female godly principle, and a reenactment of their dance that unites the polarities of life.

    The Shiva lingam (lingam is the Sanskrit word for penis or phallus) and the Shakti yoni are honored throughout India in sculptures that depict a large lingam stone resting in a holy yoni bowl. The Shiva lingam is the embodiment of cosmic creativity and transcendence, while the yoni represents an entrance to the original "holy shrine" -the place where holy conception takes place. Everyday rituals in India involve people placing flowers and offerings on this symbol, and pouring milk, oil, or holy water over it.

    In almost all cultures with a strong spiritual foundation, we find traditions that honor women as powerful sexual initiators. Old teachings and writings from Greece, Egypt, Arabia, India, Tibet, and China express these traditions. Chinese literature, for example, contains a number of poetic names for the female genitals, such as "jade gate," "cave of desire," "valley of joy," "ruby-red slit," and others. (However, these traditional writings were written by a small learned elite, and they did not find a concrete way into people's everyday lives. When we look at these same cultures today, we no longer see evidence that they honor female sexuality. On the contrary, the topic of sexuality is taboo in India and many other countries, and women are treated with little respect.) 

    Christianity, with its negative view of anything related to the flesh, is traditionally unfriendly toward sexuality. This attitude is also reflected in many of our languages, which do not contain any. beautiful or loving names for the reproductive organs.

    We are confronted with these contradictory extremes-from praise to condemnation-as soon as we begin to deal with female sexuality. When we begin to make contact with our yoni, it is likely that we will encounter this contradiction in ourselves.

    Hardly any women who haven't imagined themselves in the role of a whore at some time in their fantasies, even though they are moral in their daily lives. We should thus listen with interest to what these voices inside our heads are saying, because they reflect the contradicting thoughts and feelings that pull at us every day, whether we are conscious of them or not. If we don't confront these feelings in ourselves, we will not be able to engage our sexuality without judgment. Only when we know these thoughts can we begin to deal with them; once the voice inside has said all it wants, we can thank it and return our attention once again to our yoni. We can touch it gently and feel exactly how this feels, in order to enter a dialogue with these feelings. The feelings then come to the foreground, and the judging voice loses its significance. In this way, nobody can make us doubt ourselves, and we can enjoy our sexuality with confidence and control.