Man's Orgasm

"Taoist sexuality was developed as a branch of medicine, not morality. It therefore does not prohibit any form of human sexual activity but simply tries to teach people how to stay healthy while engaging in it. The Taoist masters saw masturbation, which they called solo cultivation or genital exercise, as an essential way of developing ejaculatory control and of learning to circulate sexual energy to revitalize the body. (Remember, solo cultivation, which we will refer to as both self-cultivation and self-pleasuring, does not include ejaculation.)

According to the Tao, play is one of the best ways to learn, and "playing with ourselves" is an excellent way to strengthen our genitals and our sexual energy. Many people worry about masturbating "too much," but the Taoists knew that there is no such thing, as long as one learns to control ejaculation. Too much ejaculation is the problem: it drains men of their strength, but this can happen with intercourse as well as self-pleasuring.

According to Kinsey and more recent surveys, almost all boys and most men masturbate. Prohibiting or discouraging a natural part of child sexuality turns boys into sexual thieves, forcing them to steal their pleasure. It is quite possible that most men ejaculate so quickly because they grew up trying to "get off" before they "got caught." Dr. Wardell Pomeroy explains that since almost all boys masturbate, they should learn to do so slowly and for extended periods of time so that they will be able to make love longer when they eventually become sexually active.

The Taoists would add that boys should learn to pleasure themselves without ejaculating. Young boys or teenagers who ejaculate too much can find that their energy and motivation for other activities decreases significantly. When one of the authors was growing up in Thailand, he sat next to a boy in school who had repeated the fourth grade four times. The boy masturbated each day in class four or five times and ejaculated into a bottle. Obviously, he was an extreme case, but according to Taoism, his failure in school was quite understandable. He was literally draining himself and his brain. The expression "screwing your brains out" is an accurate description of the stupor that occurs after repeated ejaculation.

Many men (and women) who are married or in relationships continue to pleasure themselves. In 1972, the American Medical Association advised physicians in a book entitled Human Sexuality, "Masturbation is practiced by men and women of all ages, often as a supplement to marital coitus, and women tend to masturbate more as they grow older." (Estimates suggest that about 70 percent of married men and married women pleasure themselves.) Self-pleasuring does not take the place of sex with a partner, but it can serve as a valuable complement. A recent national sex study sponsored by the University of Chicago found that people who are having sex regularly with a partner actually pleasure themselves more than people who are not.

Pleasuring yourself can help relieve built-up tension when you need a sexual release more than intimacy. It also can help when your partner is tired, distracted, or does not have the same sexual appetite. If for whatever reason you feel that you just can't pleasure yourself, you can learn to become multi-orgasmic with your partner instead. It may take a little longer, that's all. You can do the exercises you have already learnt: Belly Breathing, Century Count, Stopping the Stream, and PC Pull-Ups.

Pleasuring ourselves is not something we are taught to do. Considering the outcry that occurred when Surgeon General 

Elders suggested that masturbation "perhaps should be taught," it is unlikely that it will be introduced into the curriculum anytime soon. Most of us learn how to masturbate in a hurry, by ourselves, or with other, equally inexperienced boys. None of these circumstances are conducive to developing real sensitivity or much skill, so we offer a few pointers."